blog.

If you have sex you'll die.

Growing up, in health class we were told (in not so many words) that if anyone besides ourselves touched our dicks or our vaginas we would suffer a sexually transmitted disease so horrific that our privates would morph into cauliflower and we’d eventually shrivel up and die. That, or someone would get pregnant and our lives would be over. The latter still keeps me up at night.

What we should have been taught in health class was emotional intelligence. We should have been taught how to empathize with our fellow human beings. We should have been taught how to give and receive love. We should have been taught how to build and nourish healthy intimate and platonic relationships.

We missed the fucking boat though. And as a result, today we think it’s healthier to masturbate in a dark room to a glowing screen than fuck a living breathing human being. And, I’m fairly certain no one can look anyone in the eyes. But, I digress.

By Cole Schafer.


P.S. One day these one minute writings will be a big book called “One Minute, Please.” Can I let you know when that day comes? You can say yes, here.


Cole Schafer