Judgment is our own insecurities and fears reflected onto another person.
Men judge highly successful women, labeling them bitches, because deep down they are terrified of the thought that their wives might one day be more successful than them.
Women judge free-spirited promiscuous women, labeling them whores, because deep down they are terrified they might one day find their husbands in bed with them.
Racist white fathers judge black teenagers, labeling him a word I won’t repeat, because deep down they are terrified that their daughters might end up loving someone of a different skin tone.
There is nothing good about judgment. Absolutely nothing. It can, however, be used as a tool to gain a better understanding of ourselves and our own insecurities.
When you find yourself judging someone, take a step back. Ask yourself, what deep underlying insecurity or fear is this person triggering in me?
During the most judgmental phases of my life, I was also extremely insecure and unhappy. I couldn’t face my own insecurities and unhappiness so instead, I chose to reflect these feelings onto others in the form of judgment.
Today, when I feel myself becoming judgmental towards anyone, it serves as a nice reminder that I have some internal work to do and I do it.
By Cole Schafer.
P.S. One day these one minute writings will be a big book called “One Minute, Please.” Can I let you know when that day comes? You can say yes, here.