I am not a teacher. Though, if I were a teacher and were given the responsibility to educate America’s youth on sex, I am certain I would do a much better job than my teacher ever did.
First and foremost, I definitely wouldn’t teach sex education by showing dated VHS tapes inside a stuffy classroom. Instead, I would take the youngsters to Donut Bank, where each day we would drink chocolate milk, consume massive amounts of donuts and explore the subject of sex education.
We would, of course, have a featured speaker of the day, who we would pick at random in the Donut Bank. Preferably they would be over the age of 65. Honestly, I think the baby boomer generation knows the most about sex. So, it would only make sense.
Unfortunately, all of you 20-somethings reading this have graduated from middle school a good while ago. So, I guess we will have to settle for this less exciting blog post.
Men and Women Are Not Created Equal, and That is Okay
I was watching in terror as my Home Ec. teacher struggled to roll a blue condom onto a banana.
She was holding the banana at its base, describing the proper technique in which one goes about applying a condom. I winced as she squeezed too tightly and the banana ruptured, oozing out its mashed insides from the base of its peel. The class gasped in unison, as my teacher responded, “It’s fine! It will still do.”
No, it won’t do, I thought to myself. Everything isn’t fine here. You just mashed Bart Simpson’s cock in your hands.
I was horrified.
The sex education I received in 6th grade was subpar at best.
Still, to this day, I remember one of my male classmates Tommy raising his hand, “Mrs. Winterbottoms, are all guys the same size?”
The class gasped again, mostly just the girls, for the boys in the class were very curious to know the answer.
Mrs. Winterbottoms responded to Tommy’s question with complete confidence, “Yes, sweetie. God made all boy’s penises the same size.”
The boys in the class exhaled in relief, but I was skeptical. Thoughts began racing through my head.
If penises are all created equal… Why do shoes at Shoe Carnival come in all different sizes? Why are some kids taller than others? And how come Jimmy’s cranium looks like a damn watermelon? How come our skulls aren’t all the same size too?
Suddenly, it hit me.
I leaned over to Tommy and whispered, “Dude, she’s lying.”
Boobs, butts, curves and penises come in all shapes and sizes, which is a beautiful thing, really. Whatever you were born with you should love it, because it means you are alive and that is a miracle in and of itself.
I make my living in marketing and understand the industry well. A very effective, but shady way to market is to create insecurities in people and then sell solutions to said insecurities.
Listerine is a perfect example of a product that created an insecurity (bad breath) and then marketed the hell out of it.
This is a big reason (pun intended) why industries like male enhancement and plastic surgery have skyrocketed over recent years.
Marketers create insecurities and then market to them.
Love your body and don’t give anyone the time of day that doesn’t love your body. Women, I can tell you… if your significant other isn’t happy with your breast size, there are plenty of men that would kill to take his place.
Same goes for you, men.
If you want to get work done, that is your prerogative, but never do it in hopes to appear more attractive to someone else.
You are hot.
Sex Does Not Make or Break You
Our culture places a ridiculously high emphasis on sex, which in turn has placed unnecessary pressure on both men and women.
Men are pressured into feeling as though they have to have a lot of sex to feel masculine and live up to societal expectation. Sex has become a badge of honor among men, a pat on the back amongst our peers. Whether we want to admit it or not, we subconsciously place men who have a lot of sex with a lot of women on a pedestal.
Women are pressured into feeling as though they have to have less sex to not be shamed by society. Sex for women has become something that should be enjoyed in moderation, within the confines of a relationship. Whether we want to admit it or not, we subconsciously label women who have a lot of sex with a lot of men as ‘promiscuous’, or shall I dare say, whores.
In both cases, it is wrong.
Sex and self-worth are not one in the same. Guy or girl, have as much or as little as you like. Regardless, it doesn’t affect your worth as a person.
On That Note, Enter Into Relationships with People Who Have Similar Beliefs as You on Sex
How you choose to live your life sexually is up to you and it is nobody’s business but your own.
With that said, don’t fault people for having different beliefs than you in regards to sex -- but, you also shouldn’t get into relationships with people who have drastically differing beliefs than you on sex.
I have always held a deep respect and value for sex. In my mind, sex is the deepest, most passionate act you can do with another individual. So, I have found the most success in relationships when I am with a woman that feels the same.
This is not right or wrong, it’s just my outlook.
With that said, I know some amazing people who place less importance on sex and this has worked for them just fine. They may have dozens of partners throughout their life and that’s okay.
I don’t look down upon them, they just have different beliefs on sex than I do.
That being said, is it a good idea for the Christian who is saving him or herself for marriage to enter into a relationship with an individual who enjoys screwing anything that isn’t nailed down?
Generally, relationships work best when both people have very similar outlooks on sex.
Varying Sexual Orientations are Natural
Homosexuality has been around since the beginning of time.
There is evidence of gay relationships dating all the way back to 2400 BC -- two men in the Egyptian city of Saqqara were buried together, much like a married couple. It has been present in nearly every culture and it is seen all across the animal kingdom.
There are even theories out there that say men and women oscillate on a sexual spectrum throughout their lifetimes.
Sexuality is very grey, not black and white.
A Few Final Thoughts on Sex