3 Ways to Better Control your Emotion

3 Minute Read

How to Control Your Emotion

If you know me personally, you are aware of the fact that I am an extremely passionate individual when it comes to my work, my life and my relationships.

In fact I am so passionate, that inside the bicep of my left arm I have the tattooed word ‘Meraki’ etched in charcoal black lettering-- which means the soul creativity or love put into something; the essence of yourself left behind in your work.

I wear my heart on my sleeve, literally.

This characteristic of mine has proven to be a double edge sword. While it has been advantageous in my ability to produce good work, live an authentic life, and build deep genuine relationships; it has most definitely hindered me at times along the way.

What I have found out about myself and other passionate individuals is that we have absolutely no problem turning ‘it’ on, but we do have a considerable amount of difficulty turning ‘it’ off. No, that wasn’t intended to be a sexual pun.

In other words, we have difficulty controlling our emotions and knowing when it is time to turn the passion off… and begin thinking objectively.

This can be problematic in many regards. It can cause us to say things that are hurtful to the ones we love, when in the midst of an intense disagreement. It can effect the way we accept constructive criticism, hindering our growth in business . Lastly, it can impede upon our ability to harness our wisdom.

Today, I want to share with you the 3 Ways to Better Control Your Emotion. These are are a few tools I have used to allow my ‘Passion’ to work for me, rather than against me.

1. Sleep On It -- Passionate individuals are often times impulsive decision makers, and impulsive decision makers are bad decision makers. The best decision makers I know in business and in life are individuals who avoid making immediate emotional decisions. There is nothing wrong with feeling pissed-off when something doesn’t go your way, that’s okay-- just don’t make impulsive decisions during this pissed-off emotional state. Avoid making emotional decisions… sleep on it.

2. Bite your tongue, hard and often -- Much of your success in life will be determined by the words you ‘never’ say. When you are in a situation where you can feel yourself getting upset, bite your tongue. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. I like to use the analogy of firing a gun. Imagine your words like that of a bullet in a gun. Everything is okay until you fire it, but once you fire it… you can never take that bullet back. You can never shove a fired bullet back in a gun, just like you can never shove the words you say back in your mouth. Passionate people often times fire bullets that end up shooting them right in the ass.

3. Find a routine -- In order to become better at controlling your emotions, you need to ‘practice. Seems simple enough, right? I have found it helpful to set in place a routine and practices that allow me to better remain cool, calm and collected. Running and lifting allows me to relieve the pressure of any bottled up emotion and nervous energy I may be feeling. In my case, too much energy often leads to less control of my emotions-- I do my best to keep my energy at a healthy manageable level. Find your routine; maybe it is meditation or early morning walks; discover what best brings out the ‘coolness’ in you.

Lastly, we can't control how we feel and what we feel. Never apologize for being passionate, for there are too many people in this world who aren't. But being a passionate individual doesn't give anyone the right to allow their emotions to run wild at the expense of others.

Be passionate, be emotional, but react appropriately and responsibly to the emotions that you feel-- that is the place where true wisdom is discovered.

By Cole Schafer