I think Plain White T’s sums up the feeling well in their angsty early 2000’s punk rock lyrics, “Hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really don’t like you.”
There is crazy amounts of hate going on in our world right now. People hating Trump, Hillary, the Black Lives Matter Movement, the All Lives Matter Movement, police officers, Syrian Refugees, the ex that was spawned from hell, etc.
The list goes on and on and on.
Last night between the presidential debate, awkward life situations and uncomfortable ambiguity I found myself in a pretty negative mindset -- a hateful mindset.
I ran until I couldn’t breath, stargazed and meditated for 20 minutes to physically pull myself out of the hateful mindset that I was in.
This morning I woke up with some clarity and wanted to share with you a few of my thoughts.
3 Reasons Why You Should Hate That One Person a Little Less
1. No One is a Villain in Their Own Story. We Are All Heroes of Our Own Story
No matter how mentally fucked up you think Trump, Hillary or whoever you “really really really don’t like” is, remember that in their story they are the hero. Just like in your story, you are the hero. No one wakes up in the morning and thinks, “I am a villain so I am going to ruin the world!” Every single one of us are heroes of our own stories and this doesn’t change on account of skin color, gender, political views, religious beliefs or sexual orientation.
I am not insinuating that there aren’t good and bad people in this world, just remember that in many ways they are the same as you. They are heroes trying to save that little patch of world around them.
2. You Don’t Know Their War --
It is easy to judge someone by their actions and how they portray themselves. It is easy to hate someone on account of their behavior.
What isn’t easy is taking the time to step into their shoes. It is hard to want to understand someone deeper when you aren’t fond of them, to see what is going on behind the scenes and understand the demons that haunt them. Every single one of us is constantly battling our own set of demons -- heartbreak, childhood trauma, mental illness, confidence and broken dreams.
Stop hating people on account of the graffiti on their walls, and understand that there is a war taking place behind their walls.
3. Do it For Yourself --
The emotion of hate takes up crazy amounts of energy. Don’t believe me? Wake up tomorrow morning and work on actively hating every single thing you come across, when your head hits the pillow you will feel completely drained.
I am confident in saying that nothing good has come from hate. You will not perform better at work, you will not make more money and you will not find love when your motivation is fueled by the emotion of hate.
No, you don’t have to start drinking green tea, meditating, smoking pot and growing an organic vegetable garden -- granted some or all of these things may help. I am not saying turn into a hippie, I am just saying actively work on seeing the good in people. I mean seriously making an effort to find what people are doing well.
This is something I love about the Lucid Dreamer’s campaign I have been running. I sit down for an hour with people and search for everything that makes them amazing. Afterwards, I find myself loving them, not hating them -- and that feels really really really damn good.