*Typing*

Are they offensive?

Or, are you easily offended?

Are they annoying?

Or, are you easily annoyed?

Are they boring?

Or, are you easily bored?

Qualities you find to be abrasive in others, can show you areas of fragility in yourself.

Don't be so quick to write off individuals who are abrasive.

Instead, ask yourself why you are so easily abraded.

When the world was more dangerous, anger was useful in protecting yourself and the ones you love. Nowadays, with the constant threat of danger no longer looming over head, anger is mostly destructive. Anger throws you into an altered state that obstructs your judgement and causes you to make poor, rash decisions that you often later regret.

Because of this, you should limit your time spent being angry. You can't completely do away with anger but you can limit your exposure by reclaiming control of the stories you tell yourself. More times than not, you aren't angry because of a situation. You are angry because of the story you are telling yourself about the situation. Sometimes this story is accurate. Most times, it's not.

Controlling anger is about controlling the stories you tell yourself.

Nothing happens twice. Similar experiences happen again and again, yes. But, no two experiences are ever the same. Yet, you treat each of life's experiences like cookie-cutter commodities being churned out on a production belt.

Experiences don't work this way. Neither do you, the one experiencing the experiences. Heraclitus once wrote that no man ever steps in the same river twice because it's not the same river and he's not the same man. This is true for your life's experiences.

The Japanese have a saying: Ichigo Ichie. It means that what you are experiencing now will never happen again. It's a verbal recognition of the finite, allowing you (the speaker of the mantra) to hone your focus and attention until you are fully present in the experience in front of you.

Every single day, you are presented with opportunities. You say "yes" to most of these opportunities not because you want to. You say "yes" because you hate disappointing others, fear missing out and have the tendency to vastly underestimate how much time you really have. You think that saying "yes" to every opportunity that comes your way will get you ahead in life and work but it usually leaves you feeling burnout with little to show for all your fiery effort.

Because you are an ambitious individual, you will never have to worry about undercommitting yourself. You just won't. So, instead, you should practice saying "no". In fact, "no" should become your default answer. If you can't decide on what to do concerning an opportunity, the answer should always be "no". By saying "no", you will disappoint others in the near term but they will respect you more in the long-term. By saying "no", you will notice that most opportunities are actually worth missing out on. By saying "no", you will create more space to do the kind of work that ignites your soul.

You operate at a normal state of consciousness. Sometimes, things happen in your life that plunge you into what is called an "altered state", a state of mind that differs drastically from your normal state of consciousness. This altered state can be induced by drugs and alcohol. But, it can also happen when you're hungry, under the weather, in the throes of love, filled with rage, running on very little sleep or under extreme amounts of stress. What's important is that you're fully aware of the moments you're in an altered state and operating outside your normal state of consciousness. Through this awareness, you can remind yourself to take a step back and observe (rather than act) while your mind, body and heart stabilize.