*Typing*
You have no idea what you're missing.
Mama tried.
Refusing to believe in incentives is refusing to believe in human nature. Mothers understand incentives better than most psychologists. Early on, they make an agreement with their child. You can have the ice cream once you've eaten the carrots. This isn't because they are tyrannical. They just know that if they let their kid have the ice cream before the carrots, the carrots won't be eaten. I know this all sounds very elementary. Yet, why do so many of us go about our days eating the ice cream before the carrots? We open up social media before we've gone for our run. We answer email before we've done any work of depth. We turn on the radio before we've formed so much as a single, original thought. We shower ourselves in incentives before we've allowed ourselves the chance to earn them and we wonder why we don't get anything done.
Sometimes winning is losing well.
You should first seek to win. However, once you've determined that you will lose, your attention should divert from winning to not losing too badly. It becomes about losing well enough that you can live to fight another day. You see this in professional sports. Once a coach has determined the battle is lost, he pulls his best players from the floor as not to risk unnecessary strain, exhaustion or injury. The coach recognizes it makes no difference to lose by 10 points or to lose by 20 points; a loss is still a loss at the end of the day. And so he makes decisions to ensure his team can live to win another day. This requires shoving one's ego down at the bottom of their shoe. But, that's a write-up for some other time.
Back scratcher.
One way to get what you want is to make sure other people get what they want. I've also found this allows for a happier existence.
Stendhal syndrome.
Have you ever been moved by art? Stendhal syndrome is being shook. Years ago, psychiatrists began documenting bizarre instances of museum goers becoming physically ill after gazing upon particularly extraordinary works of art.
Michelangelo's David it seemed was a common catalyst. Sufferers would become dizzy, forgetful and, in some cases, experience heart palpitations. One of the first individuals to write of the phenomenon was the French writer Stendhal. Hence the name, Stendhal syndrome.
While walking Florence's Santa Croce basilica, Stendhal felt "celestial sensations", "impassioned sensuality" and "the proudest of ecstasy". Terrified his heart might explode, he stumbled out of the chapel, nearly fainting.
It is difficult to conclude whether Stendhal syndrome is fact or fiction. But, it is a fun North Star to strive for in the creation of art. To make something out of nothing that doesn't just move a person but shakes them, that is the hope.
Last one standing.
You can defeat your competition with several maneuvers. You can be faster. You can be stronger. You can be smarter. You can be meaner. You can be dirtier. You can be richer. You can be savvier. You can be luckier.
But, these maneuvers aren't easy to pull off. Not to mention some of them are merely a matter of chance. One maneuver that is often overlooked is endurance. If you can outlast your competition, you defeat them.
You don't have to be the fastest nor the strongest. You don't have to be the smartest nor the meanest. You just have to do well enough to fight another day... another week... another month... another year. With time, you will look up to find you're the last one standing