*Typing*

Most of life's problems are interpersonal problems. Or, problems between two people. These days, people tend to take a very selfish approach to overcoming interpersonal problems, focusing on their own needs rather than the other party's needs. Much of this selfishness has been influenced by self-help experts, coaches and gurus urging those paying for their services to speak up, "choose yourself", set strict boundaries, say no, etc. This advice is good in certain situations but certainly not all situations. More times than not, overcoming interpersonal problems involves a degree of selflessness. You must get outside yourself and seek to understand the other person. Furthermore, you should seek to give the person what they want, within reason. If you can learn to swallow your pride and appeal to another person's self-interest, it's astonishing how quickly interpersonal relationships vanish. This doesn't mean becoming a doormat. It just means being thoughtful about the instances where you can place another individual's needs above your own without massively inconveniencing yourself. Most interpersonal problems exist because of ego exhibited by one or both parties.

Only 20% of people can be in the top 20%. That's just how percentages work. If you believe in Pareto's Law, which states that 80% of the outcomes go to 20% of the causes, this means the top 20% of people get to eat 80% of the pie. I know I'm throwing a lot of numbers at you but what I'm trying to get at is that it pays very well to be in the top 20% of any given industry. And, if you can somehow ratchet your way up to the top 10% or even the top 1%, you make off like a king.

The problem is that people tend to choose industries that are highly competitive, where there are hundreds of thousands––if not millions––of people competing to be in the top 20%. These people work their asses off trying to become actors, artists and novelists only to spend their lives in the bottom 50%, where nobody can make enough money to afford bread, let alone rent.

You're far better off choosing an ugly, boring, unfashionable industry and fighting like hell to enter into the top 20%. From there, you take the money you've made and the freedom it grants you to pursue anything your heart desires on the side.

Instincts drive a lot of human behavior without us always realizing it. Most of these instinct serve us. We are instinctually scared of heights, snakes and spiders; and we have a natural urge to protect our young from danger and to seek out shelter. Some instincts, however, hinder us. Each of us has what is called a Survival Instinct. This is the desire to live. When we receive criticism, our survival instinct kicks into full-gear without us being fully conscious of it. On a primal level, we see criticism as a threat against our lives. If someone tells us something we don't want to hear, there's an automatic almost subconscious reaction of anger, fear and antipathy. If we don't actively think about overriding this particular instinct, our development will stall.

If you fight wars where others possess the advantages, you will lose. You will feel as though you're pushing a cannon up the face of a cliff. You will burn a lot of money. You will suffer a lot of heartache. You will experience a lot of failure. Instead, you should dedicate a tremendous amount of time finding the area you're most competent in. This area of competence is rarely fashionable. In fact, the less fashionable it is the better because unfashionable industries experience less competition. It's a very simple strategy that few people have the discipline to execute. You find your edge. You spend your life honing that edge. You pick battles you know you can win.

Incentives drive behavior. They're not the only driver but they're a driver. When we think of incentives, we generally think of money. But, there are other incentives that are just as powerful as money; like time. Back in the day Federal Express––now known as FedEx––couldn't get their packages to arrive on time. This was a problem considering their mantra for a lot of years was, "When it absolutely positively has to be there overnight." They tried everything. Nothing worked. Packages were still showing up late to people's doorsteps. One day, they implemented an incentive. They stopped paying employees by the hour and started paying them by the shift. As soon as employees got the job done, they could all go home. Packages miraculously started arriving on time. Getting what you want isn't all that difficult. You figure out what other people want. Then, it becomes a trade.